Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz At The Academy Awards Show 2012

I know.
You don't have to tell me, I know.
They are show people.
I've seen the pictures of Cameron Diaz with no make up, and bad camera angles.
I know her breath probably stinks.
I know that Jennifer Lopez is probably a nightmare to deal with on a personal level, vainglorious and self centered to the extreme.
Who cares?
This is as close as I will ever get to either one of these people.
It's closer than I want to be.
It's as close as I need to be.
And this is their purpose. To be looked at.
It's fine, really.
So fine.

Dandelions

 

Nothing tastes good.
Nothing. And I don't know what it is I'm going to do. I wonder which mistake I will make next. There are so many to make. I reflect on my life, and I see the endless lines of mistakes. Mistakes that I never learned a thing about.
And here I am.
Over 50.
A failure.
Seriously.
People who are paying attention are worried. They know not how close the end is near. The truth of the matter? I do not know. I have never known.
The truth is not my friend. It humiliates me.
I used to think the truth was whatever forced itself out of my little mind and out my big mouth first. That I had a right to open my fucking trap and say whatever I wanted because I was free, man. What did I fucking know..... I didn't know anything. I was blind, and I lashed out because I couldn't face the truth.
I did. I lashed out. In a supremely passive aggressive way. I felt justified. And now I don't. I don't think I am justifed. I am not left or right.
So, what now?
20 years to go. I keep telling myself this. I don't know. I look into the future and I don't see anything. Least of all, myself. It does not mean I will not be there. I just can't see myself. I wonder sometimes how low I can sink. Where is the bottom? I don't think I am even close. I wonder if I will ever get the chance to find it?
Who am I? What do I matter?
The other day I pondered the meaning of humor, of jokes, of making a joke and laughing.
No matter what you do, or who you know, or what you say, there is someone who will deny it, deny you, not see it your way, not corroborate your point of view.
What happens when the person that denies you your own existence lives inside your own head? It's not worth it. Just shut up. No one cares.
So, God, big G, if you are up there, out there, wherever....just blow your divine wind through the dandelions, and send the seeds everywhere....
perhaps something good will grow in my place.

Amazon Listener/Customer Reviews

Best album of 1985, By Mike Roach (New Jersey) April 20, 2006
This review is from: 7 Wishes (Audio CD) I remember when I first heard "Sentimental Street" in 2001, I was immediatley hooked, and as soon as I got the chance, I special ordered "7 Wishes" from a local record shop. At first, the only two songs on the album I listened to were "Sentimental Street" and 'I Will Follow You". I slowly worked my way to the other songs on the album starting in December with "Goodbye", and then "Four in the Morning" in March, then after that, "Interstate Love Affair", "Night Machine", the title track in 2003, and then I listened to the songs I hadn't heard yet in 2004. This is one of my all time favorite albums. "Sentimental Street" is Night Ranger's best song ever (much better than the overplayed Sister Christian). "7 Wishes" is right up there with anything by Journey, Styx, Boston, REO Speedwagon, and any other arena rock legends. Pick this one up!

BOISE>>>>>>>>STATE>>>>>>>BOISE>>>>>>>STATE

 

Bowl chances in the wind.

Early Draft Of A Leslie Feist Song

 

Next draft was 1212.
She was close, but it wasn't right somehow.
And that is how you make a hit record.
In Canada.

Austic

 

 

Left behind after his morning visit. He wouldn't need a sack, or his receipt, he said, because he wouldn't be returning these headphones like the dozens of headphones he had returned before.
He was smiling the entire time. He still smells like a hundred years of cigarettes crossed with BO, after living next to a tire fire.
I'm glad he's back.