I will myself to go. The switch turns on and off. I don't control it. I don't think?
Maybe I do. Maybe I am comfortable with this mindset. Conditioned to fail. Staring into space.
That's a theme I return to repeatedly in my life. No way to overcome it?
I don't know.
So who does know? I don't believe in a supreme being. I don't believe in a human-centered universe.
I look for the things that will supply some meaning. Humans love to look for patterns.For proof. For structure. They want the heavenly father, the stern taskmaster, the happily ever after, the afterlife.So what?
I don't expect anything else to come. I think you just go out like a TV set. The rest of the programming is still being broadcast, but you don't receive it.
You have today. That is it. Plan ahead if you want. It occupies your time. It's about as meaningful as a board game. Life is capricious. You get to start over. You are not alone.
But you are. You can be. You don't want to be, but you can be.
I am on no high perch.
But maybe the Dyer/Carnegie/"Power Of Positive Thinking" mindset is right.
Be the change you want to be.
Don't be a downer.
You only hurt yourself.
It's so liberating to know that you don't matter to others, so you may as well go full bore into your own self interests. You don't want to destroy your neighbor, but if HE gets in the way, well, bowl him over.
Glengarry Glen Ross is not a work of fiction, it's how things are today.
Always be selling, you don't even have to be closing. If you can't close the deal in a short time, move on to the next mark.
We are all marks.
We are here for our self aggrandizement, and that is your purpose in life.
Be a mark.
I want to be smarter. I don't think it will happen in this lifetime.
But, I'll keep trying.